Some Thoughts From My Heart

“How important is it for a woman to know whether a man appreciates her, her beauty and body by love or by lust? Love celebrates all that she is, commits with a singular and absolute fidelity, ardently protects her honor, and sacrifices all for her prized love; she has found an everlasting lover. Lust consumes a woman with vulgar eyes, a cretan's touch, and eventually discards her as a conquered, common tramp; she has cast her pearl before swine.”

A friend asked this question (and offered the subsequent comments) recently on their facebook page. I wanted to answer, but didn’t think I could in a simple facebook-type response. So I wanted to offer my thoughts on this subject here, on my blog, so I could share it with anyone else who may need (or want) to hear it. I offer it because I have been a woman whose self-worth and resulting self-confidence, has suffered greatly due to twisted, ugly and very wrong messages that she received over many, many years.

Let me answer the first part of the question by saying it is VERY important that a woman knows a man appreciates her; more specifically, the man she’s given her heart to. For some reason, our self-worth depends on believing that the man we’ve chosen to spend the rest of our life with does indeed appreciate us. And we need to see that appreciation expressed. That expression can come in various forms and really is specific to individual needs. Those needs rise from the ones that were never filled.

Basically, though, it gets down to the fact that the fairy tales we heard as little girls, the ones where our prince comes and rescues us, are indeed true. We DO need someone to rescue us, someone to protect us and our honor. Someone who will provide for us and keep us safe; and someone who will think we are utterly amazing and want to dance with us, hold us, and never leave us. Hopefully, a little girl finds that prince in her dad, who becomes the example of the man she will seek in her adult life.

Sadly, that’s not always the case. That little girl may see the fairy tales on the screen, long for them to be true, but life proves otherwise. She is left to fend for herself and she learns that in order to get the attention and acceptance she so longs for, she must behave in a certain way. The problem is, she has set the bar too low for the quality of attention and acceptance she is willing to accept. Eh, it’s better than none right?

So, she may accept the “lust” description above as acceptable, maybe even desirable. She has no idea of her worth and beauty; a beauty that has nothing to do with her appearance, but with her very soul. How she got to this point in her life may be different than what I’ve described above, as we all have our stories and life experiences, but all of the experiences lead to this one place….the belief that she is not worthy nor accepted. The “love” described above is so foreign to her; it is nothing but a fairy tale made up by someone with a great imagination.

The man who finds this woman has been given a great gift from God; and a great challenge. He will need to meet this woman right where she is, just as God meets us right where we are. He will have to show her the true beauty that lives within her and he must do it with a very gentle hand. Because she is very fragile. He must be patient with her, just as God is with us and accept her as she is….just as God does. He must do this because he sees her worth and her beauty more than she does and he wants her to believe it….because HE believes it. When she understands and sees that he believes it, she will begin to believe it.

It’s not unlike our relationship with God. God believes we are worthy and beautiful and acceptable. It’s us who doesn’t believe that. This world has torn us down and left us with the belief that we must behave in a certain way to be acceptable and viewed as worthy. But I give you something to think about; God created each one of us, with unique gifts and abilities and personalities…who are we to say that He goofed up. He accepts us, because He created us and He likes us just the way we are. Are any of us perfect? NOPE! That’s why He sent Jesus Christ to this fallen world.

Jesus is our fairy tale prince. He has rescued us and continues to protect us and He KNOWS we are worthy and beautiful and acceptable. Believe it. Live it.

And you men out there, be our example of Christ here on earth, be our fairy tale prince. We need you!

I am Loved, I am Accepted

Two days in a row, I've had someone insult me, question my integrity and downright reject me with a completely callous attitude.

I was brought to tears.

When I woke up this morning, my heart was still hurting.  But I vowed to not let another person's rejection of me ruin my day.  My prayers this morning claimed a promise from God and that is what I am going to hold on to.

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."  "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. "  Deut. 31.6 & 8

In Hebrews He says:

Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"

He loves me and He will never leave me.

What was even more wonderful, is that promise was confirmed on another friend's blog.

Isn't He wonderful?

So I'm writing today to tell you that you, too, are loved by God and He accepts you just as you are.  He loves you so much that He gave His only Son for you...long before you were born!  What a precious gift we have been given in Jesus.

My heart overflows with the realization that I am loved so much by the One who created me.

I also want you to know that I love you.  And I accept you, no matter what.

You are precious to me.

Musings on a Monday

A while ago, I was speaking with someone about my volunteering with a local hospice.  I talked with them about how I sit with my patients, hold their hand, read to them, take them out in the sunshine, or just wheel them around the facility so they can see more than the four walls of their room.  I've also sat with a family while their loved one passed away.

The majority of my patients were in the advanced stages of dementia, so holding conversations wasn't something we normally did.  Although I had this one patient that I loved to talk to as every once in a while I would get a smile out of him.

I haven't volunteered with hospice since going back to work full-time.  I really miss it.

The reason I was thinking about this today, is because during my conversation, this person commented that death scared them.

And what made me think about this conversation?  Because I was reading at another blog and this person was talking about death.  No, it's not as morbid as you might think; they were talking about the process of death and being ready to die...and dying gracefully.

So that made me think about my previous conversation.  And I remembered saying, in response to the comment about being afraid, that I was not afraid to die.

And I'm not.

Now, I'm not going to be all pious and holy and tell you that I welcome death so that I can be with my Lord and end all my suffering, etc etc.  Honestly, I don't think about it enough one way or the other.  But I do know that I'm not afraid to die. 

I know where I'm going.  I don't have the fear of the unknown.

And it makes me sad to think there are people out there who don't have that assurance of knowing.

I'm not going to lie to you though, I have thought about HOW I'm going to die and that unknown makes me a bit nervous.  Will it be quick or will it be a long drawn out event?

After spending time with my hospice patients who had dementia, I do know that is not the way I want to go.  After watching my dad and my mother-in-law suffer in pain from cancer, I'm thinking that would not be so pleasant either.

But do any of us have an control over our own deaths; how or when it will happen?

No.

That is entirely in God's hands.

So my musing today is about how will I die and will I have the opportunity to do it with such grace that God is honored.  Will I have the opportunity to show that one person that I am not afraid, that I know with certainty that God is with me and will be waiting for me after I breathe my last.  Will that one person then come to believe and trust and no longer fear.

I am not sure.

But I am sure that God has it all under control and until that time, I can live with great joy and peace.

Do you know for sure where you are going?

Would you like to know?

You can go here to receive that assurance.  And if you do, please let me know.  You can find my email by clicking on my profile.

Grace, peace and much love to you.

Sue